sunshine

it's sunshine!

Jesus didn't sugarcoat to his disciples the cost of following Him. He always emphasize that following Him is not an easy road but it requires denying one's self, taking up our own cross; and that's to be daily, taking off everything that hinders, and getting rid of the sin that so easily entangles.

Jesus never said it will be easy; but He said that it will be worth it!

"For our light and momentary troubles
are achieving for us an eternal glory
that far outweighs them all. "
-2 Corinthians 4:17

Amen

When a point comes that after doing your best and without stain in your hands, accusations and hurls of immature lies is thrown at you, Adonai's sovereignty is what gives the seal of confidence with Him.

I do regret that at some point in my life i became silent.
regrets why i've done good.

and this gave me this realization.

what if God regretted why i became His child,
what if God regretted why He choose me to be part of His Kingdom,
what if God regretted why He is always good to me,
what if God regretted why He let Jesus died for me,
what if God regretted why He always bless me,
what if God regretted why He saved me,

...

what if every time i fail,
every time i rebel,
every time i misunderstood,
every time i drew a blank,
every time i accuse God,
every time i blame God,
every time i listen to lies,
every time i feel like i know every thing,
every time i doubt,
every time i forget that i'm just a kid,
every time i became ungrateful,
every time i forget how he has saved me,
every time i easily forget the goodness He showed on me,
every time i forget how he has carried me through up to this time,
every time i easily forget that i don't deserve to be loved by Him,
what if every time i hate God because of unmet expectations,

what if

what if

what if God would say to me that i don't deserve Him.

...

Like Hosea, God has put me in this situation to let me realize how He never gives up on His children.

Like Hosea, God wants me to learn His character of being a superbly loving God.

Like Hosea, God wants me to learn that our identity in Him is not made up of what people has to say. But on what He has to say.

Like Hosea, God wants me to learn that even Jesus in all His perfection has been hurled with lies and accusations despite of what His 3 year ministry here on Earth has accomplished.

Like Hosea, God wants me to learn that there is this human nature to easily loose the sense and logic of it all and simply give in to vagueness or lies.

Like Hosea, God wants me to learn that He is still loving to His ungrateful children. and human simply gives in to the enemy forgetting what God has done.

Like Hosea, God wants me to have the confidence and not became insecure. that you don't need to prove to people anything. that what is on done God's eyes on God's way is what matters.

...
In the first place,

we all don't deserve God's goodness,

we all don't deserve God's mercy,

we all don't deserve God's blessing,

we all don't deserve His shed blood and broken body,

we all don't deserve the cross,

in the first place we all don't deserve salvation.

how can we forget that.

...

let the dog in eternity bark to the moon simply because the moon shines magnificently

let kids make a mindset that they're still 2 years old

let the skies laugh to the birds because they can't reach it

let the vulture be proud because it feels higher than the growing tree by which it stands

let the wind haul to the mountain and forever wait for the mountain to bow to it

let the creation by all stupidity challenge the creator

let the one who knows few be ungrateful until the same measure is given back to it

let man make a tower to reach heaven and let the bricks crumble and the Voice confuse their languages

but

He is who He is and none can be asked of any man.

and that keeps me alive.

...

Amen!

Quad Confidant

Vamos!

Well, just in the middle of this month there's been a major decision that a friend of mine has to make regarding where to pursue his passion for Electrical Engineering. Jan decided to leave iligan and of course as a despedida for this confidant, we had our own set of pictorials.

Greatly Grateful

Vamos!

it's a new page right now inside me.
you see, in the past posts and on the past days as some of you have known, i was in this hurricane of twists, turns, and detours.

it was the most thrilling enrollment ever (not to think that it was just 12 units you know). thrilling because it gives the ticket of probably graduating this October(ehemmm october na jud siguro). hahaha

from the impossible rumors that "dili lagi na pwede nga naay CSc 182 karon nga sem" to the "Ako(Mam Dimalen) na lay muhandle sa inyung 182" everything is possible in Jesus name.

yeah. it really was possible that by God's very amazing grace(very redundant: very amazing) we(leyah and me) were allowed to take CSc 182 and IT 140(thesis ni bai) together.

and what's more?!. our Special project(that would be our thesis) was in my opinion going on a 200km/hr on it's way to it's destination. It's an Expert System that nurses will be using in the future(how assuming).

Every puzzle is going on it's place. Like a group collaborator in the nursing department was made ppossible for our Expert System(thank You Sir Erik Baroro). Like the very nosebleeding revisions on our STUINDEX (this is our Student Information system that we are working for our Software Engineering) that i think it would be possible by God's grace. Like of course, the financial provision that God provided just this afternoon.

See?!. there are a lot of things to be grateful to what God has been doing.
cheers!

making sense?

just this lunch time, my mom called me regarding the situation of my delay here...

i was finding ways to hide what's been happening deep inside me but upon hearing my mom's voice i could not help but be honest and you may call it very emotional but, i cried.

i would just have to say something to people whom other people depends their future. who other people depends on them being systematic and on them having sense on their job. because if you really dig it down, being consistent, keeping records and making sense is out of every student's control in our situation now. this is really out of our control. great... i hope I'm making sense...


i mean, how come people have the guts to be inconsistent despite the fact that they don't have records? i mean, he also his sons and daughters you know. he's also a father to his kids who has ambitions. he exactly know how it feels for parents to have their child not to graduate. may pamilya at mga anak din naman xa ah! how come he is so cruel?

hope I'm making sense?

REgreats

ok...

someone(my rumie) just asked me if "what would be my greatest regret in my life?" well that question really gave me a moment or so to be silent and a time to really think if there would be one things that i would surely be regretting of.

well the first thing that really came to my mind when my rummie asked me that question was about me having the desire and actually being aggressive of pursuing in being an IT specialist.

of course, the next question that one would really throw at me is if am i really enjoying or am i really happy with the course that i am in right now.

well of course, this is what i want. this is what i love to do. but as for you people who knew already and for the benefit of those who don't know, I've been having this mountain in my life these days which would be my CSC 182 course. as you know, the best laid plan would have to be able to finish my thesis and graduate this October. but as the things turns out to be in the real cage, can't take the thesis this semester because of the unsystematic stuff regarding the software engineering course. it's really a sensitive topic so i suppose that let's talk more about this one of these days when the boat is sure to sink or the boat is sure to dock.

going back to the regrets.

i am not really sure if i would really consider this as a regret.
would i?
i mean, is this really a regret if ever i would regret on it? (pretty ambivalent huh?)

it's just about choosing.
i mean, practically, when you really boil it down when speaking about regrets, it's all about decisions.

i think, and i just think that i think this is my regret.

ummmm

that i would regret on thinking more about other people and less about me.
you see, giving your self to your students and giving your 'you' to your students always involves sacrifice.

you know love is sacrificial. and i think i regret on being sacrificial on maybe the wrong people. you would just one day wake up and realize that they're already eating your back.

regrets?

i came to my realization that the above cases would not be considered as regrets in me. would they?
oh!
they wouldn't be regrets.

what i realized is that when i surrendered everything to Jesus i gave Him the authority to be the one in charge of the past, present, and future.

it's not the 'Me, Myself and I' management anymore.
if ever there would be scratches done by kids, theses surely aren't regrets. they're just hurts and scratches.

no regrets to those who live for the One who holds the past, present, and future.
it's the best and safest place there is, to be in the hands of the one who hold time.

the pause period

it took me a long time to again post whatever in this dear old blog and now as the opportune time came for me to actually make a post, things around me aren't on their right places.

yes... they aren't on their right places coz they just aren't in their right places. when people starts to give place for themselves, when we sometimes give the throne to the I in us, and you know do things on our own without going with the rules and the ways of the Master, then i do not know what to expect.

destruction... maybe.

i hope you know what's been happening inside of me

hey there... just very early this morning about 2 a.m. an old friend of mine, Gift Noah Pedrosa gave me a call and it was one of those moments that God used to refresh me.

just lately after PLTI and just after the start of the class, a lot of things had been happening to me and a lot of these "a lot of things" have i hidden and kept inside of me.

There comes a point in a leader and in a discipler's life wherein after you have been so much concerned with other people, after giving your life to people(as it is the essence of discipleship), after sparing time to listen to people, after the time of giving concern and consideration to others, after taking care of people so much that you have forgotten yourself along the way... You begin to realize that none will be left there to listen for you when the things around you becomes a storm. too much of the giving yourself to people, you will be left with none. after loving them with much, they would easily be offended with such a little.

What people see in you sometimes are the things that they expect of you and the apprehension of telling to them what's been happening inside you and that you also need people to listen to you, and to pray for you.

just how unfair it could be, reality wise when after you have been praying for people so much, and after considering their flaws and understanding the offenses they have done to you, in just an instant, they would have that unconsiderate and haste judgment and just be easily offended of the things that you don't even intend to do to them. and that's just how the fellowship is simply broken. that after giving your "all" to people, they could just easily make the finality of throwing you off and decide to just easily break their fellowship with you.

I'm not saying that we should give back to other people what they have given to us. for that principle is in the first place not what heaven obeys, and that principle is not realistic. what i just want to say is that if people needs people to be accountable with, then that excludes no one and includes even the person that have been accountable to you.

I do hope that there will be no repetetion of Tai Lung that after Shifu had groomed Tai Lung, He wants to ruin Shifu after seeing a small flaw in his master. after loving them with much, they would easily be offended with such a little. if Tai Lung has weaknesses that Shifu has so much considered, will Tai Lung not also consider Shifu's Limitations?

thanks to the only person who asked me how am i doing and giving me these words... the I here is my Savior, Redeemer and Friend...

I've been there a thousand times,
I've felt the rain like a thousand knives.
And it hurts,
I know it hurts!
I've been there like a fighter plane,
Tryin' fly my way through a hurricane.
And it's hard,
I know it's hard!

Don't be afraid,
You'll make it through,
Just call out to me and I'll come running to You!

Hold on, hold on!
When the current pulls you under,
And your heart beats like thunder.
Just give me your hand,
And hold on, hold on!
Until the storm is over,
And I'll be fighting for you.
Just give me your hand and,
Hold on!

I'll give you hope, I'll give you faith!
And if it's dark, I'll light the way,
For you, for you!
By your side, until the end,
Until you're standing tall again!
I'm here, I'll always be here.
And if the tide, sweeps you out to sea,
When your strength is gone, and it's hard to believe!

Hold on, hold on!
When the current pulls you under,
And your heart beats like thunder.
Just give me your hand,
And hold on, hold on!
Until the storm is over,
And I'll be fighting for you.
Just give me your hand and,
Hold on!